Yesterday, I Cried
Yesterday, I cried.
I came home, went straight in my room,
sat on the edge of my bed,
kicked of my shoes, unhooked my bra,
and I had myself a good cry.
I'm telling you,
I cried until my nose was running all over
the silk blouse i got on sale.
I cried until my ears were hot.
I cried until my head was hurting so bad
that I could hardly see the pile of soiled
tissues lying on
the floor at my feet.
I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.
Yesterday, I cried,
for all the days that I was too busy, or too
tired, or too mad
to cry.
I cried for all the days, and all the ways,
and all the times I had dishonored, dissected, and disconnected my Self from
myself,
I cried for all the things I had given, only to have them stolen;
for all the things I had asked for that had
yet to show up;
for all the things I had accomplished, only
to give them away, to people in circumstances,
which left me feeling empty, and battered
and plain old used.
I cried because there really does come a
time when the only thing left for you to
do is cry.
Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because little boys get left by their
daddies;
and little girls get forgotten by their
mommies;
and daddies don't know what to do, so
they leave;
and mommies get left, so they get mad.
I cried because I had a little boy, and because
I was a little girl, and
because I was a mommy who didn't know
what to do, and
because I wanted my daddy to be there for
me so badly until I ached.
Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because I hurt. I cried because I
was hurt.
I cried because hurt had no place to go
except deeper into the pain that caused it
in the first place, and when it gets there,
the hurt wakes you up.
I cried because it was too late. I cried because
it was time.
I cried because my soul knew that I didn't
know
that my soul; knew everything I needed to
know.
I cried a soulful cry yesterday, and it felt
so good.
It felt so very,very bad.
In the midst of my crying, I felt my freedom coming.
Because
Yesterday, I cried
with an agenda.
-Iyanla Vanzant
