*Personal Message*

I just want to point out that I made this blog to inspire people, for someone to have someone to relate to, to write my thoughts down, to help people get through the day, and remind them that God is there. When I share personal post its for someone to relate to, it's for someone who feels alone, I just want them to know they are not the only ones going through that situation. I don't come on here to write for attention, I don't come on here to brag. I just want to see more Queens happy and loving theirselves. I'm 16 years old and All I want to do is help people and do what I love and that's writing. Please respect what I post! 

*Thank you everyone who shared my blog or checked it out.*

Thanks for viewing, 

Kennedi M. 

Someone trying to have power over you...

Some people have came into my life and tried to control me, have power over me. They have put negative thoughts in my head. People that was close to me have hurt me. Destroyed me, tried to tell me who I was and what my future holds. They have tried to get me out of my character. But...

I also have people who have been here for me and motivate me, encourage me and keep me going. In life we have people who try to bring us down because of something going on in their life, they are unhappy and want to make someone else unhappy. Those people I will love and respect but will distance myself from them. You can't be happy and enjoy your life with negative people around you. 

One day, I decided that I wasn't going to be around negativity, I was going to change my life around and choose to be happy. Trust me I have my moments when I slip but no one is perfect right? 

What I'm trying to tell you guys is don't surround yourself with negative people. It's ok to distance yourself, you can still love them. I can't see anyone living their life Angry, sad, mad all the time. Choose to be happy!!! Change your life around. Don't stress yourself over the opinion of others. Who defines you? YOURSELF!!!! You define you!!! No one knows you like yourself! 

~Kennedi

Feeling guilt from our past...

We all have a past that we may haven't forgave ourselves from. We all know that feeling of guilt we felt. All we think in our minds is "What was I thinking?" Or "I wish I could take it back." Sound familiar? We think about those thoughts over and over again and may cause us to tear up. Right? We get frustrated with ourselfs and become stress and depressed. You feel like you just want it to all pass. But just a reminder IT'S JUST A TEST!! We forget certain things when we are upset with life, someone, or ourselfs. We forget that EVERYONE makes mistakes, it's a part of life. It's a LESSON LEARNED!

Do you ever feel like it's you against the world when you feel guilt? Do you ever say to yourself "I'm not gone trust nobody?" Let me tell you it's normal. Every once in awhile we get thoughts like that because like I said we are upset with ourselfs because of the mistake we made. We sometimes push other people away when they are trying to help because of the way we feel. We kinda give up on ourselfs and forget that we have God. We forget that he is with us when no one else is. We sometimes forget to pray and let God handle it. 

  I said this in a recently post and I'm going to share it with you guys again. When you are going through a storm/hard time it's ok to step aside, get yourself together than finish your race. Remember to not compare your chapter to no one else's chapter because you don't know there story and what they been through. You focus on yourself and getting through that storm with your head held high. For my Queens (Women) out there I want to say don't let your crown fall. Head held up and focus on getting through that storm. 

-Kennedi M.

*Video for encouragement* Yolanda Adams- Step Aside 

"Young Black Woman"

Hey Queens, I haven't been on here in forever!! I'm Back!!! I have a lot of stuff that I want to do with my blog, youtube, and ect. I'm so excited!

Now…

About this look, I must say this is one of my favorite outfits I have ever wore. The shoes I have on, have been sitting in my closet for about two years and have never been touched. I could never find anything to wear with them. I did always know I wanted to color block with those shoes though. 

One day, I believe I was looking at the pants I have on in my closet for along time, and I kept thinking "What can I wear with those pants?" (Giggles) I pulled the pants out and tried them on, then I just about pulled every shirt in my closet out until I found some that I liked with the pants. The shirt below is what I found. So I spy those shoes in my closet and (DING) I pictured the whole outfit in my head. The shirt, pants, and shoes. The outfit is what I wanted to wear to church, and that day it was a little chilly outside, so I tried the blazer on, and I fell in love with this look completely!! I was feeling so confident and felt like a young woman. I had this purple lip stick on from M.A.C. and it brought out the purple in my shoes. I got dressed up for myself, I put makeup on for myself,  I walked with confidence for myself, and I'm proud to be the person I am. 

Queens wear what you want, wear what makes you feel beautiful and confident, but remember to only do it for yourself and no one else. 

Respect!!

-Kennedi M.

"Love me"

I had to learn to love myself. I had to learn to love the person I was. I had to learn to love my body and accept my flaws. I know no matter what anyone said or the compliments I get, if I don't love me then nothing they say will matter. It's so many young woman who depend on a young man to make them happy and love themselves, but it won't work. Learn to love your inner and outer beauty. Don't compare yourself to anyone, it's only one of you. Embrace your beauty and understand that big, small, tall, short whatever you are, You are different and beautiful and don't let anyone tell you differently.

-Kennedi M.

"Darkness"

"It's so dark, everywhere I go. 

I try to find the light but all I see is the darkness. I feel the pain controlling me.

But I don't know what it is, 

My world is dark, and no one sees it.

I wonder if anyone even cares,

I'm tired of talking, because it seems to not work.

I'm tired of trying to be positive but I only get negative results.

I'm wishing to disappear and never come back. 

I asked myself sometimes "Why am I here?" And never get a answer.

I'm ready to be done with the pain and the dark storms.

I'm ready to see the light and be happy. 

The only way I can see this is if I move out of everyone's way and stop taking up Space. 

I'm ready to go! 

-A girl who's tired of life and going through hard times by herself. 

By: Kennedi M.

"Prayer"

No matter what happens through out the day. Remind yourself to leave it up to God. Trust him and let go!

-Kennedi M.

"I can't get through this by myself"

I will never let anyone have that much power over me. No matter what they do to me or how they make me feel, can't nobody steal me from me. They may hurt my feelings and ect. but me, as a young woman will get up on my feet and have my head held high, and walk with strength on my back. I know God is with me and no one can tell me differently.
 I know and learned that when I don't have no one I have God. I been going through a hard time but I haven't yet given up, and I won't. I'm always trying to explain myself to people thinking they will understand but like I have said in other posts, no one will understand unless they have been through that situation.
 I am here to tell you that you may feel like your storm is eating you up, or your storm is taking control over you but you must stop thinking that now. Bring your hands together and ask the man above to be with you. All that pressure you have been feeling give it to God. He is the one who is in control, not you. You trust him and let go. Stop putting yourself through this and trying to handle it on your own. Can't no one do anything by themselves.
-Kennedi M.

"They come and go"

Something I learned over the weekend was, you can't depend on anyone. And you can't think that everyone is going to be there forever. No matter how much you have been there for the person, you have to accept that people come and go. We may not like it and it may hurt but maybe God is preparing us for something. I used to tell people things that were on my mind, things I was going through, feelings I was feeling and ect. But I also learned that no one will understand unless they have been through that situation or felt the way I was feeling. You also can't trust a lot of people. Whenever I have a problem I don't tell my business to anyone anymore, I go to God and talk to him. His the one who will be there all the time. I'm not saying that talking to someone is a bad thing or you shouldn't do it, but just be careful who you share it with and what you say. Some things are your business and only your business. 

-Kennedi M. 

"God is Good"

"I refuse..."

Sometimes I think to myself "Why am I always called mean and Why do people say I always have a attitude?" I thought about it and it's because I refuse to be disrespected and walked over, I refuse to let anyone control me or treat me wrong. I am a caring person and I never ever want to hurt anyone. But sometimes I do have to say things in order for people to understand that I don't like it and I would appreciate it, if they don't disrespect me. I have learned that when I do say it nicely they still countiue to disrespect me or walk over me. And if that is the case then I will distance myself.

-Kennedi M. 

That's your Woman...

Young Men and Men...

 Respect your woman, you need to make sure she feels safe and feels loved. She needs to feel beautiful and feel that you're there for her not just to be there but there because you care and because you want to have a future with her, you want to make memories with her. Make your woman feel special. Don't just look on the outside but look on the inside. Tell her she's beautiful inside and out, and mean it. Understand that she isn't perfect and neither are you. Your woman will have flaws but it's ok because we all do. Accept her for who she is, and don't let her feel any less of herself.
 When she needs a shoulder to cry on, be there to wrap your arms around her and let her know that everything will be ok. Remind her the positive things and motivate her. When you have disagreements, listen to each other and work it out. Understand what a "Relationship" is, and know that no relationship is perfect. When your down, your woman will be there and when she's down you will be the man, and catch her when she falls. Love her curves, the texture of her hair, love the shape of her lips and the shape of her face. That's your woman, love her and appreciate her.
-Kennedi M.

"Ready for fall..."

    

Black girls rock!!!

They Question...

I think it's crazy how we walk around with someone judging us everyday. They judge you for the shoes you wear, the clothes on your back, how your hair looks and ect. Then people question why there are so many teens committing suicide, depressed or doing things that they don't even realize their doing. I feel the bullying can come from a lot of things. You never know what someone is going through at home, you never know what someone is going through at school, you just never know what someone is going through in life period. I wish people would think before they speak sometimes but we don't. Sometimes we say stuff because we think it's funny or cool, but deep down inside it can be eating someone up.
I know when you hang around negative people you start doing things thats not you, like I said in my last post. I won't write this and say I'm perfect because I'm not, I have talked about people but haven't we all? Sometimes we don't even mean to or notice that we are...
-Kennedi M.

I asked myself...

"I have been moving backward instead of moving forward, I asked myself "Why" then I looked at who I was hanging with and who I was surrounded by. I saw myself not being the person I am, I was being someone ugly, someone I didn't like. I saw the independence leaving me, and I felt people being in my business, I felt I was doing too much and was frustrating myself. Sometimes you do have to take a step back and remind yourself who you are and where you come from. I know the things I was doing and saying wasn't Kennedi. When you hang with someone for a long time and you see that they are changing into someone you don't want to be around, then distancing yourself is the best thing to do in my opinion.
-Kennedi M.

"Keep a white dress and color heels in your closet."

"Queens"

"Just Trust Him"

I know you feel so alone, I know your on your knees, I know it seems like you have no one, like all your friends have turned their back on you. Trust me, I know! But let me tell you something about the Man above. He is so good! If you don't have him in your life, then that's your choice. He is everything to me. I can't even tell you all the things he has done for me. He has always been here and kept me going no matter what. (And I'm not on here trying to brag) but what I'm trying to say is to TRUST HIM. He will understand you, He will be there, When no one else is there for you...he is, When you feel like his taking to long to get you out that storm, remember it's on his time. We must TRUST HIM and leave it to him. After you pray, let it go. You will get through it!

-Kennedi M.  

"I'm proud to be black"

Black is beautiful! I love this picture so much!!

-Kennedi M.

-

"Women"

Have a good week!!

You make it to the finish line! You get through that storm! You may have to pull over and get yourself together and that's ok, but as soon as you get yourself together, you get back out there and finish that race. Have faith in God and believe that he got you, with him you are going to be ok. Just pray! 

-Kennedi M.

*Have a wonderful week and let the past be the past, forgive and ask for forgiveness.* :)

"Queen"

"When they see you bettering yourself they try to put you down." 

-Kennedi M.

Pain on my back...

Whenever you get to a point in your life when it's too hard to stand, then you kneel. You kneel while you pray you kneel while your cry. You kneel when you need to. I know sometimes we carry to much pain on our back and it gets to hard to stand up and keep our head up. People are asking you to pray for them but don't realize that you need someone to pray for you! No matter what I always remind myself that "God is here and it's not on my time but on Gods time." I know when we go through that hard time we question where God is but don't realize that his in control. We just have to do what we have to do, to get through that storm. (Trust in him and everything is going to be alright). **Number one thing to do is pray (to talk to him)**

-Kennedi M. 

Choose Wisely!

I Trust You by: James Fortune

                                                                     

                 

Even though I can't see
And I can't feel your touch
I will trust you lord
How I love you so much
Though my nights my seem long
And I feel so alone
Lord my trust is in you
I surrender to you
So many painful thoughts
Travel through my mind
And I wonder how
I will make it through this time
But I trust you
Lord it's not easy
Sometimes the pain in my life
Makes you seem far away
But I'll trust you
I need to know you're here
Through the tears and the pain
Through the heartache and rain
I'll trust you
Everything that I see
Tells me not to believe
But I'll trust you lord
You have never failed me
My past still controls me
Will this hurt ever leave?
I can only trust you
No one else like you do
I can

I will
I must
Trust you
I will
Trust you 
I will
Trust you 
I'll trust you
I will 
God will make a way

Tears...

What do you mean you don't want to cry or you don't like crying? You have feelings embrace those feelings. Don't hold them back. Be ready to see the reddest in your eyes and your eyelashes wet. Why would you let your feelings stay inside when they need to be let go of? Don't listen to what someone negative as to say. Everyone has feelings and everyone cries, just because they don't want to claim they do doesn't mean they don't. Sometimes when we let go of those feelings we been holding inside, we can start finding happiness. Sometimes we may notice that when we do cry, were crying for along time and tears just keep falling down, but let them fall down your precious face. It's ok to cry and it's ok to have feelings. Let them fall...
-Kennedi M.

Bag Lady...

Bag lady you gone hurt your back

Dragging all them bags like that

I guess nobody ever told you

All you must hold on to

Is you.

-Erykah Badu (Bag Lady)

Friends....

Sometimes I don't think people understand me when I say, I like being alone. I don't like to party every weekend and I don't like to hang out much. I may go a few days without my phone or being on instagram/tumblr or other social sites, but it's because I feel everyone needs time to themselves. I need time to collect all my thoughts and talk to God, I need peace where I don't have to be stressed out. I need to write goals down and think about my next step. I don't think people can focus on themselves when they don't have "Me" time and thats maybe part of the reason why you have so much anger and hate. People misunderstand me as being "Selfish" or "Rude", "Misconstrued" or "Unwelcoming."
But really I'm just being "Me." I always get asked "Why are you always in the house?" (Mostly family) but the answer to that is I'm not, I get asked "Where are your friends at?" I look around and say I don't know. I feel like everyone is always trying to be known. Always trying to get 100 likes on a picture or have 2000 followers/friends on social sites. Their always trying to be at every party because they feel that their going to miss something. I understand going to parties is fun and I think people should party and enjoy themselves. But why every party?? ....I don't know maybe it's just me. I don't want to be around people like that. I have friends and I love them very much but I don't talk to them everyday, Their not going to always be at my house, I won't hang with them every weekend and I hope they respect that. I enjoy my independence and not having to depend on anyone, I know myself and know what I need to do, but understand I'm not perfect and I do make mistakes. I keep positivity around me the best I can. 
-Kennedi M.

I respect myself...

I did everything to make it work.

But why didn't it?

You told me you loved me and that you cared for me.

I thought it would last.

But why didn't it?

We had our ups and downs, but it seemed like you couldn't handle it.

We had those haters and people that liked us.

We ignored them, until it started affecting us.

It was so hard when you put your all into someone and it all goes down. 

Then it seems like our situation is all around.

I don't understand why people can't mind their own business.

When we stopped talking it seemed like you didn't care. 

Until I was at my locker or walking by and I see you stare. 

I know the relationship had to go, because I refuse to be told.

I am a young woman with a father in heaven, i don't need no man disrespecting me. 

I see the girls when I walk by hearing a boy called them the word that rhymes with pitch.

I listen to see what they say but all I hear is laughing like that's ok.

I have respect for myself and a lot of people think I'm rude.

It's like when you don't say nothing back they will continue.

I have been called selfish, ungrateful, spoiled, mean and feisty. Trust me I have been called more.

That boy told me he liked my respect but seem to hate it when we are around "friends."

I don't understand why you were trying to fit in? 

-Kennedi M. 

Move on

We sometimes have to leave people behind, because their on a different level then you are on. When we have something going for ourselves, you have to surround yourself with positive, encouraging people. Even if we don't want to move on and let go, we may have to in order to move to the next step or be happy. When they realize you aren't playing games anymore and serious about goals you want to accomplish they will catch up. If they don't, then leave them alone, and do you!  

-Kennedi M.

Yes Queen

Breath, Relax, It will be ok

~Relex! Collecting all my thoughts, Having time with God, Writing, Lights dim, Music going, Candles lit, Now i'm just relaxing.

Kennedi M.

Trust him

No matter what you go through, God is always there. No matter how much pain you are carrying around it will all pass. Sometimes it seems like when we get done with one storm another one is coming and we are already on our knees so we sometimes turn our back on God and try to get through it by ourselves but you can't. You will stress yourself out, you will be a mess. Doing things that you will regret later on in life. WALK with God, he is so so Good, Through the GOOD and BAD. 

-Kennedi M. 

You are blessed, if you don't think so? You need to count your blessings. The clothes on your back, the shoes on your feet, the food you put in your mouth, the shelter you have over your head, and so much more. 

Thank Him!!!! 

Praise Him

Don't....

God doesn't give the same pain and hurt to people. What your going through may not be what your "Friend" is going through. You have to stop comparing yourself to others. Just because you see someone with something that you want doesn't mean your poor, or anything. You don't know what they had to go through to get there or get that. Just like you, they don't know what you been through to get where you are. Your not on the same chapter as nobody but yourself.

-Kennedi M.